Sort of Looks Like #10: Jose Bosingwa and Niko Bellic from Grand Theft Auto 4

When not marauding around as a right back for Chelsea, Jose Bosingwa likes nothing better than stealing a car, mowing down some foo’s, then wasting some pigs with his AK47 before finally cheating to get a tank and blowing everyone up. Or so I’ve heard.

GTA IV’s Niko Bellic                                       

Jose Bosingwa

Sort of Looks Like #9: Salomon Kalou and Junior from Cool Runnings

Being beaten 3-1 by your London rivals is rarely a good thing, but Salomon Kalou can console himself thanks to Perez Shilton with the knowledge that he sort of looks like Rawle D. Lewis, aka Junior in Cool Runnings. Notable scene; “Pride, power, a badass mother who don’t take no crap off of nobody” speech. Makes you want to go out and kick a bin over in rage, sending litter everywhere! Take that society! Then conscientiously pick up the bin and put all the litter back in it again.

Junior Bevil                                              Salomon Kalou

Sort of Looks Like #8: Alan Pardew & Damon Albarn/John Torode

Today’s man-of-the-moment and mooted new Newcastle boss Alan Pardew sort of looks like a cross between legendary Blur frontman Damon Albarn and celebrity chef John Torode.

Albarn/Torode                              Alan Pardew                                          Alan Pardew

Sort of Looks Like #7: Joe Hart & Russ Abbott

This week; (sent in by ‘stevus’ via the comments) breakthrough Man City goalkeeper Joe Hart sort of looks like all round entertainer Russ Abbott. A much younger version apparently, but I couldn’t be bothered to find a picture of Russ from his youth. That’s the calibre of journalism this blog consistently delivers.

Russ Abbott                                                   Joe Hart

Sort of Looks Like #6: Matthew Upson and Jack Johnson

This week; West Ham centre back Matthew Upson sort of looks like indie surf musician Jack Johnson.

Jack Johnson                                                                                              Matthew Upson

Sort of Looks Like #5: Vicente Del Bosque and Gerard Depardieu as Obelix

This time; World Cup winning Spain manager Vicente Del Bosque does indeed sort of look like Gerard Depardieu portrayal of cartoon gaul Asterix’s sidekick Obelix.

Sort of Looks Like #4: Bret Van Marwijk and Andy Hamilton

This time; Netherlands manager Bret Van Marwijk sort of looks like comedian and QI regular Andy Hamilton. But only in this one picture.

Sort of Looks Like #3: Arjen Robben and Lance Armstrong

This time; Bayern Munich winger Arjen Robben sort of looks like seven times Tour de France winner and cancer survivor Lance Armstrong.

Sort of Looks Like #2: Carles Puyol and A Facial Reconstruction Of An Early Neanderthal Man

This time; Barcelona captain and World Cup winner with Spain’s Carles Puyol does indeed sort of look like someone’s imaginings of how early man might have looked.

Sort of Looks Like #1: Steve Sidwell and Chris Morris

Pretty much an exact copy of Who Ate All The Pies excellent ‘shit lookalikes’ feature. If Shilts were to send all of his crap observations in to WAATP, the editor would probably be driven mental with countless google searches of two people who barely look alike. To avoid said editor’s health imploding as well as to avoid the embarrassment and social stigma of rejected entries, Shilts will just have his own version.

This week Aston Villa midfielder Steve Sidwell does indeed sort of look like Chris Morris of Brass Eye, The Day Today and Four Lions fame.

Satirist Chris Morris                                       Midfielder Steve Sidwell