Arsene Knows Even More Than He Lets On, Pig Sodomy and (a bit) More

PhotobucketArsenal manager Arséne Wenger, famous for claiming to see less things than Stevie Wonder in a dark room, has admitted that: “sometimes I see [incidents]  but I say that I didn’t see it to protect the players and because I could not find any rational explanation for what they did.”

Which is sort of fair enough, but your man Shilts has used his sources to find out other things the wily Frenchman has seen and then denied ever seeing:

-Francis Jeffers

-Emmanuel Eboue’s evident lack of footballing talent

-Alisher Usmanov’s testicles

-Who shot JFK

-The Holy Grail

-The future

-Bad Boys 2

-Lee Dixon masturbating a pig

PhotobucketLittle Johnny’s Transfer Tip-Off Of The Day

“Andrew Castle to Spurs, just waiting on a medical!”

Staan’s Snoopings

PhotobucketWhich England international has been banned from every hotel in Cleethorpes for shitting in beds?

Staan Coollymore says: “Ashley Cole.”

PhotobucketZidane’s Tips and Fiddles

“If you don’t like to hang clothes on the line because they dry stiff, dry them for 10 to 15 minutes in the dryer, then hang them out. You’ll save money and your clothes will be dryer soft.”

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