Patrice Evra’s DJ Set, Further Portsmouth Sales, Morris Dancing and (a bit) More

PhotobucketPatrice Evra has revealed that he is the resident DJ in the Manchester United dressing room, with the Frenchman’s DJ CV including kids parties and seeing Fatboy Slim live once.

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“It’s a hard job because John O’Shea always begs until he breaks into tears to hear Kajagoogoo, which everybody else refuses to listen to, and then they subsequently bully John by giving him beats and setting fire to his clothes, and this makes me feel bad sometimes,” says Patrice, speaking exclusively to Perez Shilton.

“I enjoy the role very much. Before the match I sit down in my room and work out a playlist, it normally takes about 4 to 5 hours. Of course, we never hear any of it cos the gaffer refuses to listen to anything other than his Best Of The Proclaimers CD on permanent repeat.”

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“It’s good that Michael Owen has joined cos he sometimes brings his light up mini disco ball and we have a little rave until it runs out of batteries.”

Other footballing DJs include Manuel Almunia at Arsenal, who plays a selection of traditional English folk songs and dresses up as a morris dancer in an attempt to get picked in Fabio Capello’s England squad and Des Lynam, who goes by the name of DJ Shitbox and plays a tight drum and bass set every Tuesday.

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Little Johnny’s Transfer Tip-Off Of The Day

“Portsmouth to sell entire team by Friday, you can bet your dad!”

Staan’s Snoopings

PhotobucketWhich WAG has been seen canoodling with Zack Efron at a recent award ceremony?

Staan Coollymore says: “Jamie Redknapp.”

PhotobucketZidane’s Tips and Fiddles

“Eliminate car odours by sprinkling Baking Soda directly on fabric car seats and carpets. Wait 15 minutes (or longer for strong odours) and vacuum up the odours with the Baking Soda.”

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