Managers Look For Libellous Fans, Ice Creams, Beards and (a bit) More

PhotobucketAfter learning that a host of clubs and managers are scouring unofficial sites in order to find ‘damaging comments‘ from fans and thus find the grounds to sue someone for saying that Sam Allardyce looks like an angry dying walrus, Perez Shilton has been legally advised to think, in truthful bold lettering, that it is an excellent, super ace idea that is in no way punishing fans for making trivial, passing comments on harmless forums, well done football clubs!

Rather than have himself branded with the same brush as these awful, awful, disgraceful, libellous fans, your man Shilts has only nice things to say about the managers of the games top clubs. Observe:

Arsene Wenger

Will definitely win things this year and will certainly not finish fourth again, Francis Jeffers and Mikael Silvestre were both quality signings that any club would be lucky to have and the Frenchman could unquestionably kick Alan Pardew’s ass in a fist fight.

Sir Alex Ferguson

Will not regret selling Ronaldo and losing Tevez, Michael Owen is an adequate replacement for the pair. Sir Al could in no circumstances be described as an irate Scottish ballbag who has every right to accuse the country’s refs of having a vendetta against him any time they don’t allow one of his players to stray 30 yards offside.

Photobucket

Carlo Ancellotti

Will not get fired. Unless he doesn’t win the Premiership, FA Cup and Champions League, which he almost certainly will. He is not in any way in Jose Mourinho’s shadow and his new tactics and formations will work a treat.

Harry Redknapp

His face is not melting like a cornetto in a hot furnace. Hewill guide Spurs into the top four and not into mid table obscurity.

Mark Hughes

Has in no way ruined the Premiership with his constant hounding of other club’s players which he is going about in a fair and proper manner.

Rafa Benitez

Has a really great beard… Shilts is sorry, but he can lie no more. Please don’t sue, he has a perm to maintain. And feed.

Little Johnny, Staan Coollymore and Zidane have all gone clubbing in Ibiza leaving poor old Shilts and their blog features behind for the weekend. Don’t you worry about Shilts though, he has got a cracking holiday in North Shields lined up, where he’ll be rolling in fish and chips and slamming babes. Hopefully.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: