Ronaldinho Considers Alternative Careers, Casseroles, Can Openers & (a bit) More

PhotobucketThere is much speculation that bucktoothed maestro, Ronaldinho, might be considering retiring from the game.

While this may come as a shock, your man Shilts has it from a number of sources close to bucktoothed maestro Ronaldinho that he is already considering several career paths after he hangs up his boots.

The most likely mooted so far are:

Circus Freak

With his jaw droppingly useless ball juggling skills and his natural freakishness, a life as in the circus goes hand in hand with the career ambitions of bucktoothed maestro Ronaldinho.


“He’ll fit right in with the other freaks,” says Coco the Clown. “He can balance on his teeth and has a ponytail. Perfect.”

Can Opener

With his ginormous incisors, bucktoothed maestro Ronaldinho would be ideally suited to opening tins, cans and security doors. However, with tin and can openers readily available at affordable prices this is probably not the sort of niche market that bucktoothed maestro Ronaldinho will be looking into.

Ronaldinho Impersonator

With his hideous teeth, his wanky ponytail and his incredible pointless ball juggling skills, bucktoothed maestro Ronaldinho would be ideally suited to impersonating bucktoothed maestro Ronaldinho.

Rumour has it that bucktoothed maestro Ronaldinho is already active on the bucktoothed maestro Ronaldinho impersonation circuit. However others claim that it is a sterling effort on the behalf of Neil Ruddock, who is a cult hero on the impersonation scene.

Staan’s Snoopings

PhotobucketWhich angry Man City benchwarmer is rumoured to enjoy urinating through letterboxes in his spare time?

Staan Coollymore says: “Craig Bellamy.”

PhotobucketZidane’s Tips & Fiddles

“In order to make the perfect casserole, you must first master the art of fighting wolves, then buy all of the necessary ingredients.”


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