Carlos Tevez’s Agent Explains His Neville Jibe, More Portsmouth Outgoings And How To Get The Police Off Your Back

PhotobucketCarlos Tevez’s agent, Kia Joorabchian, has defended the burnt-necked Argentinian’s comments about Gary Neville, which branded Neville a “moron” and a “bootlicker”, saying that they were taken “out of context” and that “sometimes comments get a bit lost in translation.”

In an exclusive interview with Perez Shilton Kia further eloborated:

“Carlos is a fun loving guy and would never dream of saying the awful things they accused him of saying.

“What he meant to say was that Gary Neville is a rat faced cunt whom he hopes dies after ingesting rodenticide, the British press got the translation wrong, took it completely out of context and blew everything out of proportion.”

Update: Kia has since emailed Shilts and told me that I took his quotes out of context and that I misinterpreted the rodenticide bit with an anecdote about molesting at the dentist.

However he still maintains that Neville is a “cunt”.

PhotobucketLittle Johnny’s Transfer Tip Offs
“Portsmouth to sell off every asset, from players, to the staff, to the dressing room hinges to the secretary’s stapler and Avram Grant’s extensive collection of obscure 70s porn magazines by the end of this transfer window. Everything apart from Hassan Yebda. Nobody will buy him.”

PhotobucketZidane’s Tips and Fiddles

“One way of getting yourself out of trouble with the police after hitting a cyclist in your automobile, whilst driving 120mph through a busy town center and being considerably over the legal alcohol consumption limit, is to be three time FIFA World Player of the Year and World Cup winner, Zinedine Zidane. Works for me every time.”

Follow Shilts on Twitter for more Shiltings of no worth.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: