Luka Modric Exposed As Lady Gaga’s New Persona

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PhotobucketLady Gaga is renowned all over the globe for her outrageous, outré and eccentric personas and costumes; the human lampshade, the human windscreen wiper, the human man and so on, but her latest reincarnation appears to have topped the lot. A source has revealed to Perez Shilton that she has been masquerading as a tenacious Croatian playmaker, plying their trade at Tottenham Hotspur and going under the moniker of ‘Luka Modric’.

“It is her most brilliant character yet,” claims illustrious hipster critic Jonathan T. Bellend. “Gaga continues to push the boundaries on her quest to expose the universal truths of love, morality and sexual desire by occasionally setting up Jermaine Defoe with some nifty passes. She really is a genius.”

Like a true performing artist, Gaga has really thrown herself into her Modric guise, aiding Spurs’ cause with seven goals in all competitions, earning a place in Slaven Bilic’s Croatia squad and even breaking her leg for four months to “examine what it means to be human through the common experience of being unavailable for Carling Cup matches” explains T. Bellend.

Musicians making appearances in football is by no means a new phenomenon. Eagle eyed fans will have spotted A-Ha frontman Morten Harket turning out for Macclesfield Town and Juventus whilst David Bowie effectively disguised himself as former Trinidadian goalkeeper Clayton Ince for six years as part of his ‘Crewe Alexandra’ era.

PhotobucketZidane’s Tips and Fiddles

When house hunting, always ask the estate agent if there are any known security issues with the houses you visit (e.g. broken locks, flimsy windows, faulty alarms, underground passages etc.).  If he says yes, ask him to show you them, take note of their weaknesses and how they can be exploited, then come back later and burgle away!

Follow Shilts on Twitter for more Shiltings of no worth.

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