Milner On His Way To Man City + Possible Balotelli, Huntelaar, Maicon, Khedira & Honda Deals

Little Johnny’s Twenty Four Seven Transfer Window Tip Offs
Photobucket Perez Shilton’s resident toddler transfer expert, Little Johnny, whose knowledge extends to being able to play FIFA 10 on Legendary difficulty, gives us his take on the day’s transfer news:

Friday 23rd July:

PRETTY MUCH A FOREGONE CONCLUSION DEALS:

James Milner to Manchester City from Aston Villa for an estimated fee of £24 million:

Milner, a revelation for Villa last season, has decided that he wants to change the words ‘revelation’ to ‘bit part squad member’, ‘Villa’ to ‘Manchester City’ and ‘last season’ to ‘for a few seasons, until he is finally sold to Bolton with his career in tatters’.

According to Villa boss Martin O’Neill, Milner had told him prior to leaving for England World Cup international duty that he wanted to leave and refused to discuss the possibility of a new deal. Milner has come out strongly to deny these claims, saying that they portray him in a bad light, that he would never say such things, whilst also at the same time indicating that he wants to leave and will not discuss the possibility of a new deal.

This paves the way for the midfielder’s passage to City, provided that City, with their attention span equal to that of a toddler with ADHD, don’t get bored and instead go and sign the next player that Roberto Mancini scouts on Football Manager.

RUMOURED DEALS

Mario Balotelli to Manchester City from Inter Milan for a fee of £25-30 million:

Inter Milan have confirmed there has been dialogue between themselves and City over the striker’s transfer. Little Johnny has heard that City have drafted in legendary screenwriter and director Quentin Tarantino to write the ‘dialogue’, however Tarantino has only so far been able to write City’s lines; “Oh, hi Inter, can we have Balotelli please?” which City are understandably rather disappointed with.

Johnny’s Verdict:Depending on what Tarantino writes next for Inter Milan depends on the outcome of the transfer. If, on the evidence of the quality of his lines for City, he lazily writes the response as “yeah, sure, that should be fine” then expect to see Balotelli in Eastlands. However, if he reverts to his old masterful ways, the response may go more along the lines of “does your business associate Rafa Benitez look like a bitch?” and negotiations might not run quite so smoothly.”

Klaas Jan Huntelaar to Liverpool from AC Milan on loan:

Instead of taking the Rafa Benitez tactic of immediately signing a player just because you’ve heard of him, only to find out that the player was average at best and that now Liverpool are either lumbered with him or have to sell at a loss, new gaffer Roy Hodgson appears to be taking a shrewder approach by trying to secure the Dutchman, who has reportedly been told by Rossoneri president Adriano Galliani that he has no future at the club, on a season long loan.

This should minimize the potential damage should Huntelaar prove to be a flop, as he has been during his stays at Real Madrid and Milan after his impressive early Eredivisie career.

Johnny’s Verdict:In their current financial state, Liverpool have to be more frugal than Kerry Katona shoplifting in Iceland, so a loan deal makes sense. However, Milan would probably prefer to recoup some of the €15 million they paid for him, so I’d say it depends on their receiving of any other offers.”

Maicon and Sami Khedira to Real Madrid from Inter Milan and Stuggart for a fee of £29 million and undisclosed respectively:

Maicon and the lovechild of Milan Baros, Yossi Benayoun and Sinbad the Sailor, Sami Khedira, have both released statements which essentially say “I would like to go to Real Madrid.”

Johnny’s Verdict: “If this approach works and both of these players get deals at Madrid, Little Johnny would like to use this opportunity to also say that I would like to move to Real Madrid. I have loads of skills like colouring in, growing ability at potty training and can dribble (on myself) like a pro.”

HUGE TIP-OFF OF THE DAY:

Johnny says:Jet Li to be racistly confused with Keisuke Honda by Blackburn boss Sam Allardyce and offered a three year deal.”

That’s it for today’s transfers. Feel free to send in your own gossip via the comments section below.

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