Yet Another 2010/2011 Premier League Preview: Arsenal

And so it was to be that Shilts was to take on the mammoth and thankless task of previewing the 2010/2011 Premier League season and then make  a meaningless prediction based on last season and a few new players who may not even properly fit in with a club’s current squad. Someone’s got to do it. Although, this is the internet, and therefore loads of people already have done it. Ah well, Shilts is doing it anyway.

Every club, every manager, some facts I made up, other stuff, all in glorious text format. Here goes:

Arsenal

Any hack will tell you that on their day, Arsenal play the most glorious attacking football in the land and they’d be right. Yet it has been six long years since the Gunners last tasted Premier League success, and five for any other kind, unless you include the women’s team, which Shilts doesn’t because he isn’t very accepting.

The Achilles heel of Wenger’s sides has been found out by those who employ the Sam Allardyce brand of football; namely – they literally have Achilles heels. Kick them quite a lot and they will be all like “hey man, stop kicking me, I’m just trying to play football,” then kick them again and they’ll shoot you a hurt look and leave you alone. This usually results in 75% of their first team squad being injured by around February and their campaign changing from them looking like genuine title contenders to possibly looking like they might fall out of the top four with a series of frustrating draws and losses.

The Manager – Arsene Wenger

Arsenal fans will tell you that ‘Arsene knows’, although exactly what he knows nobody is sure of. There are rumours abound that it is a number of things; from the meaning of life to vital missing evidence in a murder trial to the fact that Lee Dixon enjoys pig sodomy.

Strengths

A squad with a lower average age than those of Gary Glitter’s former partners, the Gunners boast youthful talent in abundance, not to mention their supremely talented captain Cesc Fabregas who has resisted the temptation of Barcelona for another season.

Weaknesses

Lukasz Fabianksi + Manuel Almunia x goalkeeping ability = < Neville Southall

Did you know?

Theo Walcott once raced a cheetah for charity. He lost obviously, and was horribly mauled by his fellow competitor afterwards.

Best Chant

You’ve only come to see Eboue

Prediction

With their current generation of players looking far more mature and experienced than previous campaigns, Arsenal could stage a real title tilt this season. More likely, they will finish comfortably in the the top four. Again.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: