Yet Another 2010/2011 Premier League Preview: Manchester City

Manchester City

Joe Hart Spurs v Man City

A team that outside of Manchester, were previously among the affections of many fans, much like Fulham, due to their likeable innocuousness. Then came the Abu Dhabi United Group, who had more than Africa’s deficit in their loose change box, making them less likeable than Robert Kilroy Silk covered in dog shit turning up at your child’s first birthday party and repossessing everything in your house and getting the walls all dirty in the process.

However, despite their huge financial clout, City are yet to break into the top four, let alone win any silverware. This will need to be done asap less the Abu Dhabi United Group get bored and go and purchase every corner shop in the land or the entire sport of rugby instead.

The Manager – Roberto Mancini

Improved results since Mark Hughes’ tenure, the league’s most suave Italian, beating off strong competition from Carlo Ancelotti, spends much of his days thinning his hair with industrial paint thinner to make it lighter than a single cornflake in a no gravity air vacuum. This being the secret to his success. Also his rubbish scarf which he wears all year long and doesn’t fit with his sharp suits.


Could survive almost any injury crisis to the extent of Carlos Tevez accidentally dissolving half the team’s legs with his acid urine, such is the depth of City’s squad. Also being able to boast some of the biggest names in World football such as David Silva, the Toure brothers and Mario Balotelli is pretty decent too.


Also City’s squad size, which means that Mancini will have to pull off the best squad rotation since Rafa Benitez forced his Liverpool squad to sit on a carousel for four days straight in order to keep fringe players happy. It also serves as a large deterrent to players that they wish to attract to the club, as was seen in a similar situation at Chelsea a few seasons ago.

Did you know?

Nigel de Jong’s raised boot can pierce clean through the thighs of a horse, such is its ferocity.

Best Chant

City Reject” (This chant might eventually apply to every player in the league)


More quality than Liverpool and Tottenham ‘on paper’, yet with all their new additions and little squad gelling, City may fall short of their targeted Champions League place. Shilts still reckons they’ll do it though.


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