About The Perez Shilton Team

Recently, a crack team of football insiders assembled in order to bring you the inside story on all the goings-on of the beautiful game. They became known as Sky Sports. Here is a completely different team of insiders dedicated to bringing you much the same thing, but in a less factual manner:

Meet the team:

Perez Shilton: Football’s foremost knowledge on gossip and perms, Perez has scoured high and low, mainly in bins, to bring you all the freshest news, hearsay and transfer dealings from the footballing world. However, often he is lazy and just makes things up.

PhotobucketStaan Coollymore: So as to preserve his secret identity, Staan has asked to be known under a pen name that only the most knowledgable of persons would be able to decode. Staan is renowned for his ability to expose the sordid goings on of football’s biggest stars. His skills include looking in car windows and owning a pair of binoculars.

PhotobucketZinedine Zidane: Known all over the globe for his ability with a football, what is less known about Zizou however, is his wealth of knowledge on almost all subjects, ranging from campanology to horticulture to martial arts. Each edition, Zizou will strive to bring you a piece of advice that will no doubt change your life for the better.


Gordon Banksy: His artwork has annoyed millions and gained him a cult following all over the globe as ‘that prick that draws on stuff’. In his own words he “is dedicated to exposing the dark side of the game that The Man doesn’t want you to know about.”

Whoever that man is, he can expect a healthy dose of vicous satirical messages and crap photoshopped images to expose his web of lies from our man Gord.

So as to preserve his artistic integrity, as well as to stop people from finding out who he is and drawing on his stuff, Gord has asked that no images of him be seen by anyone, though he doesn’t seem to mind writing his name everywhere.


Little Johnny: This fearless investigative reporter’s uncle’s friend’s mate apparently works for every club in the land as a postman and as such is told all of the clubs’ most private transfer dealings, giving Little Johnny and unparalled amount of info and foresight into the latest transfer goings on.

Cynical, Bitter and Angry Man: A self explanatorily cynical, bitter and angry man who lives under a shelf in Halfords and who cornered Shilts when he was looking for replacement parts for his fold up bike.

Fate has not been kind to CBA Man; he lost his job as one of the country’s most promising brain surgeons when he started sleeping on the job during live surgery, his wife left him after and as a result of his selling her over the internet and his shoes are all scuffed.

This has made CBA Man particularly cynical, bitter and angry when it comes to opinions on football so he vents his frustration by writing articles for this blog and burning woodland animals with a blowtorch. He refuses to be pictured so Shilts will use this much overused picture of an angry hobo, thus do not think that CBA Man wears bobble hats. He thinks they’re crap.


3 Responses to About The Perez Shilton Team

  1. I saw CBA Man down the local. He is upset Rafa is shagging a priest on a mountain of sugar! Better than being crapped on by seagulls – ohh that was eric. Great blog – why did you move to wordpress?

    • aye, he can often be found weeping into his pints about the footballing issues of the day, currently his favourite topic to down his sorrows to is the absence of the Peter Brackley/Trevor Brooking commentating powerhouse combo.
      i moved because oleole essentially became a website of links to arabic sites which streamed live games and i felt much how someone trying to present something next to giant pop ups of female, and the occasional male, genitals must; cheap and irrelevant. i decided that i could achieve both of these things without all the links to said streaming sites on my own so set up this wordpress. enjoy 😀

  2. latinas says:

    Excellent Blog !!!!

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